To Distroy A Vacuum
by The Spades Queen
Summary: 'I don't know you' I screamed at the blond man. As the words left my mouth I knew it wasn't right, I should have known him. 'Why don't we start now' my vampire purrs at me. Why indeed? A story about some rash choices, an epic adventure and an unexpected lovestory.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Yes, yes a completely new fandom, I know. And you know what, I actually only like Twilight thanks to it's fanfictions! I don't mind the books, but they aren't _that _great, come on! (I have no need for flames stating I can't have an opinion on this matter by the way). Enjoy!**

**In which Bella channels Renee and Jasper contemplates the admittance policy of loony bins.**

**Bella **

"_**I'd never given much thought to how I would die…"**_

Marrying at eighteen isn't as common anymore as it was in Edwards youth. Sometimes Bella wondered if Edward had ever noticed that, if he noticed change at all. Not only was it not common anymore, it also shouted 'shotgun marriage' and 'scandal!' at the top of its longs. She knew even her father had considered it for a while, before putting away his gun (thankfully, Bella would not want to explain the bullets bouncing off of her fiancé).

Marriage was forever and binding. However, if you know he's the one, why wait? At least that was what both she herself and Edward tried to convince her of over and over again. The more she thought about it the more she became constricted in the house. She looked over to Alice, who was chatting away about the decorations with Esme. She then accidentally made eye-contact with Jasper, who never strayed far from his mate. She saw the questions in his eyes, but shook her head at him, quietly trying to convince him it was nothing. Honestly she felt foolish for lying to an empathic vampire so she resolved to think happy thoughts to put him at ease. She wasn't completely sure she was succeeding. Jasper shot her one more suspicious look, and made his way to her. Hesitantly he touched her hand. She felt him sending her reassurance, and tranquillity. Without meaning to her mouth formed into a smile. She was happy Jasper was finally getting over his mishap on her birthday. She never blamed him, if anyone she blamed herself for forgetting for even a moment that they were vampires. Vampires that feast on blood, an addiction Edward called it. Bella tried to send Jasper her thankfulness, and his brisk nod made her believe he had understood.

Bella muttered she was going home for the night, knowing the whole house could hear her. In a flash Edward was beside her and he kissed her forehead.

-'Can I come with you, Love?' he whispered. Bella told him she needed some time alone, and weakly joked about it being bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. Edward let her go then, always so proper.

When she got into her car Jaspers influence had worn off completely. She absentmindedly looked for her keys, where were they? She looked in her bag, but they where not there. Had she lost them? Just when she started to get panicked (which had a lot more to do with the stressful day than the actual problem) she got a text.

**They're in de ignition. X**

Alice of course. She looked and unsurprisingly, there they were. She sends a 'thank you' to Alice but she didn't mean it. It scared her a little to be honest, that everything she did could be monitored. To centre herself she took a deep breath, and finally started the car.

The ride home didn't make her feel better; on the contrary she felt something she was sure she had inherited from Renee: an instinct to flee, to keep her freedom, to fight anything that kept her too close. She did not want to be shackled down to anyone. For the first time in her life she could fully understand her mother, before she had always felt some vague resentment for her mothers' abandonment of her father. Now she understood her. She felt like a caged tiger, wanting to run, but unable and therefore lashing out. For the first time she felt fear for Edward, knowing she could never outrun him, never hide from him. As long as she was human, she was no match for him, for any of them. Alice would always chose Edwards side, she knew, Jasper would follow his mate anywhere, Emmett… well he'd want her back because he loved her, so would Esme, Carlisle would always help his first companion and Rosalie, well she would be outvoted.

The truth only made her sick: she had no choice anymore. She would marry Edward, there was no alternative. That scared her to the core of her being. She wanted her life back, and now!

Deep down she felt she was being irrational, but she didn't care. She loved Edward, right? But why was it that at this moment the thought of spending forever with him seemed like her worst nightmare? She tried to recall all of their moments together, the bliss she felt when she was near him. It didn't work, why did she like him at all? He forced her into this marriage, he controlled her every move. Why did she want him? He was beautiful, but so were her Jacob and a lot of others. He played music he had written specially for her, but if she was honest she had begun to resent that music merely by hearing it time after time. He protected her, but it had made her feel smothered instead of save. And had he not proven already that he could leave her when things got too much for him to handle? What prove did she have that she could trust him? She always just did, but right now she could find no reason why.

Before she knew it she had passed the 'Welcome to Forks' sign and was on her way to Seattle. What she would do next she didn't know, and remembering Alice she decided not to make any decisions at all. Maybe with a head start she could keep them away a little longer. What had gotten over her she truly could not say, she had never been this impulsive before. She honestly could not say when she had made the decision to run, but she had. Her more tactical side told her that Seattle was her best option. She didn't get any messages form Alice, so far so good. She drove for the rest of the night, arriving at a record time in Seattle, where she knew was someone who could help her.

Paul had been following a trail and the pack had told her he would stay in Seattle for a few days to keep an eye on things. Jacob had told her this. Paul would help her if only because it would hurt the Cullens, like she knew it would. It also couldn't hurt that his presence would blind Alice. This would buy her some more time. Until Alice would check on her that is. This decision made she knew she was now free to do what she wanted, because the visions would be black.

-'Hey Jake?'

-'Yeah..?' it sounded on the other side of the line.

-'Where did you say Paul was staying in Seattle?'

-'I didn't…' now he was suspicious, great. She quickly tried to reassure him everything was fine. As much as it pained her, she knew she could not trust Jacob. Not when it involved her safety like this. What sane girl would go off on her own with the Volturi breathing in both her neck and the necks of her loved ones? Hell, what sane girl would go out on her own at all knowing the dangers that lure in the dark? Perhaps she was crazy, and selfish, let's not forget selfish.

In the end Jacob told her the address, after she assured him everything was fine and she only wanted to call him about something. She did not really believe he was fooled, yet that could not be helped. The address was a little while away form where she was now. She decided drive around for a bit, for she was not sure what she would say to Paul when she found him. Her only hope was that Paul was just as selfish as she had proven to be, and Paul would rejoice in hurting the 'evil' vampires.

She pulled up by a Subway to get herself something to eat. What to get, what to get? Honestly she wasn't even that hungry, but it felt good to have a purpose, even if it was just to eat a sandwich. When she finally chose something she noticed for the first time that her hands were shaking. The adrenaline rush was over now, and what she had done caught up to her. She had actually ran away, unbelievably enough. She sat down for a moment and tried to calm herself. Thinking about things she needed to do helped up her at ease.

She ate her sandwich slowly, in her head planning the route to where Seattle's resident shape shifter was staying. From Jake she heard it was some cheap motel, Paul always was a bit tight on money. She more or less knew where to go, she just hoped traffic wouldn't be too bad.

She was so deep in her contemplations that she didn't notice someone approaching her. She jumped a little when she heard the chair opposite from her being shoved back, someone joined her at her table. Her eyes rose slowly to the other person. When she saw him she knew she was in trouble. After all, once you're aware of their existence they aren't very hard to pick out from the crowd: vampires.

This one was a _very_ nice specimen. He was tall and slender, dark haired and with alarmingly black eyes. She knew what that meant, but she could have guessed either way. After all what would a vampire be doing in a Subway? Why trying to grab a bite to eat of course! _Eat Fresh!_ And all that. This wasn't a good time for something like this, she thought, panicking. Why couldn't this stupid race leave her alone for once? She got that she smelled like a five star buffet, but really, Self-control people! Bella took a deep breath and tried to stay calm and confident as she sized the other up. He was taller, thousand times stronger and faster than her. The only solution seemed to scare him away. _Good luck with that. _

Her eyes turned cold and hard and she whispered, just low enough so he could hear:

- 'I will be missed, vampire. There are some of your kind who will be very angry if something were to happen to me'

Sadly this did not serve the purpose she hoped it would, he did not back off, on the contrary, he grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the restaurant. Never once speaking.

Some people shot her strange looks, but no-one cared enough to come to her aid. She was silently glad for the lack of nice people, for she made herself no illusions that this vampire wasn't dangerous. He dragged her to a nearby alley and pushed her against the filthy wall. Bella was momentarily distracted by the feeling of gum sticking to her bare neck before he growled at her, bringing her back to the perilous situation at hand.

-'How do you know of us, human!' he spat at her. She silently cursed herself for blabbering out her knowledge to some strange vampire. She really should have known better. When she stayed quiet he shook her none too gently. -'Do you know what we do with humans that know, huh?' he growled at her. She stayed silent, she knew alright. -'We kill them.' The vampire whisper-growled. One of her last thoughts was 'I really, _really_ shouldn't be surprised _this_ is how it ends…' before she felt something pierce her neck, which was still felt sticky with old chewing-gum.

**Jasper.**

It is never a good thing when your own wife is more excited about the marriage than the bride herself. No, maybe that isn't the right thing to say, Alice is after all one walking, talking ball of excitement. If, however, _Rose_ is more enthusiastic than the bride, then Edward might have a problem because those aren't warm fuzzies she is emitting. I'm not sure who to feel sorry for.

Living with six other vampires is never easy for an empath. Our kind tends to change moods rather rapidly. Today however it's the human who bothers me the most with her emotions. She is feeling rather flighty today, so much I want to go out for a run myself. She is trying to convince me she's alright, although I think she knows it's futile. Bella leaves soon after this and with the way she's feeling I fear she'll be in Canada in a few hours. I risk a glance at Alice, but she seems not to notice. Esme and she are in a discussion about the merits of lilies in relation to roses, it seems to have grown into an emergency debate about this grave matter. I decide not to bother her with Bella's strange mood.

…well that's what I tell myself at least. Being completely honest I might just not want to deal with her.

Why? Not sure really. I love her, she is my mate. Sometimes however, when she shows her more controlling side I get a bit anxious. Alice told me it is because I haven't had to deal with taking other vampires opinions into account for most of my existence. Somehow it just makes me more anxious when tells me things like that.

With another burst of emotions that weren't my own I was shaken out of my thoughts. The Denali coven had arrived and Rose hadn't taken kindly to some comment Kate had made towards Emmett. Great, nothing more calming to an empath than a coven of sucubi. I always feel rather bipolar when those women visit.

_I wonder if they would let_ _vampires enter an asylum… I guess if I go in there and proclaim I'm a vampire they might take me in, it's worth a shot._

'Jas, Why did I just get a vision of you in a mental hospital?'

**Well that's it, I'm not sure if I will continue this, but I like it so far, so I posted it :). Tell me anything you might want to share in your REVIEW. (death-threats, songs, recipes, novels, poems, actual feat back, your relationship troubles etc. etc. etc.) **


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: _

_Dearest readers,_

_Please don't expect any more updates this fast, this was a fluke._

_Love,_

_TSQ_

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><p><strong>In which the Cullen family is in state of chaos and Bella is MIA.<strong>

* * *

><p><em>Sometime into the past.<em>

'…_Edward, NO!'_

_Many years later._

* * *

><p><em><span>Alice.<span>_

It was completely silent except for the soft mumblings of a phone call in the background. No-one moved.

'… Yes, yes thank you.' Esme ended her call. she turned to us and shook her head, even though we had all heard every word. 'Nothing' she said. It was no surprise, but it still hurt so much. It will never get easier, I wouldn't want it to.

Kate next to me sighed and flitted away to go hunt, Garrett followed her. I wont be surprised if they leave us soon, I know they've been thinking about it, but for them there is no reason to. They are looking for an opportunity that doesn't make it seem like giving up. The Denali's have all offered their help over the years, but lately they're trying to convince us there is no hope anymore. I had never seen Carlisle get so angry before. Eleazar tried to convince him this search is futile, that she wont be found. Carlisle would not hear of it. _'We will NOT give up' _he had growled. After that their friendship has been strained.

On bad days, horrible days, I sometimes want to give up too. The moment Edward first tried to kill himself being one of them. It's long ago, but I can still smell the smoke sometimes.

_Every time I do it feels like an omen. _

Edward is sitting on the couch by the fire, although he doesn't need it's warmth. He looks like a ghost sitting there, only more fragile.

_Edward lets out a scream… we are to late… he burns himself… Smoke… _

There it was again, a vision of Edward when he decides to end it again, he is considering the fire place. I stand up to block his sight of it. He understands the message.

Edward is a wreck, there's no denying it. These last few months I don't believe he has moved at all. He quit feeding a long time ago, I fear he's trying to starve himself now, although it's impossible. Carlisle decided long ago we couldn't endanger humans by letting him stay close to them. He was and still is so very unstable. There was no other option and so we moved to the remotest place in Alaska. 'We' meaning Carlisle, Esme, Edward and I, sometimes with some of the Denali's like Garrett and Kate right now.

Not much is left of the once highly esteemed Olympic Coven, we were torn apart by the loss of our youngest.

There was so much fear and anger when we first heard that Bella had gone missing. That fear and anger turned into despair as it became clearer and clearer that she could not be found. Being around Edward must have been unbearable for _him_. He stayed _so_ long, I will envy and admire that strength always, but of course eventually my Jasper left. He knew I would remain with our family. Honestly, asking me along might not even have crossed his mind, we were long over at that time. Rose and Emmett had left long before Jasper, first to look for Bella and later they contacted us stating they needed to grieve on their own. That was twenty years ago. We hear from them sometimes but none of us live in the illusion we are still a family.

No matter what he says I know Jasper never gave up the hope that Bella might be alive. I know he is still searching. Family always comes first after all. I fear it's in vain. I can't see her, I couldn't the moment she left our house in Forks fifty-something years ago. At the time I thought she was going to see that mutt. There isn't a day that I don't hate myself for not checking it. Only after the confused phone call from Jacob did we understand something was wrong.

At first we thought she had just been scared, had gotten cold feet. Emmett joked about it. Then Jasper had told us what he had felt from her, how she was in fight or flight mode. He told us she would be half way across Canada with the way she was feeling. Edward had been furious at Jasper, but Jasper stated that Bella was her own person, who made her own decisions. After he had been forcefully calmed down Edward had seen sense. Then we began our search, and we never truly stopped.

Oh Bella, please by some miracle be alive, please.

…_Rosalie publishing a book…Jasper walking thought New Orleans by night…Rosalie being dismembered by Felix…Jasper attacking a man… Emmett in a rage… Jasper being burned… smoke, smoke, smoke…_

Oh, for God's sake…

* * *

><p><em><span>Rosalie.<span>_

_To whom it may concern,,_

_Emmett is restless and not in a good sense. It seems we have adopted the nomadic lifestyle most of our kind leads. Officially we stopped our search long ago, but we never seem to be able to stay at one place for long. The family probably resents us for giving up on Bella, but honestly, can you blame us? After thirty years of false leads and dead ends we could not stand it anymore. Bella, my sister although I never treated her the way she deserved to be treated. She still loved me, Jasper told me more times than I can count, but even if he hadn't it would have been obvious. _

_I guess I just wanted what she was throwing away, but that's all in the past now. We literally searched the whole earth, she deserved no less, but to no avail. She has to be dead. There I said what no-one else dares to. She is dead, there is no other way. Sadly I fear that after the next thirty years, around the time when Bella would have died had she lived a healthy normal human life, Edward will find a way to kill himself for good this time. We must try to prevent that at all costs, no matter how cruel it might be. God knows I'd want to die if my Emmett died. Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn't let Edward do it, if it wouldn't be kinder to let him die too, that's when I get that feeling. That strange feeling of _but what if she's alive_?. As long as there is a one in a millionth chance that Bella might live, we must keep Edward alive for her. _

_Emmett barges in to the hotel room we're staying, kisses me and whispers that we're moving again._

_Maybe we should stay away from humans for a while…_

_With Love,_

_Rosalie_

With a sigh the beautiful blond vampire closes her journal. Her mate holds her close. A sardonic smile plays on her lips, maybe she should publish her journal, '_a Vampire's Journal, 1933 to present'_ she would call it. It would be a Bestseller for sure.

Immediately there was a text, of course.

-**Don't do it. X**

She let out a sigh, like she'd be that stupid.

* * *

><p><em><span>Jasper.<span>_

**-How are you?**

**-fine**

**-don't go to New Orleans**

**-Ok**

This is how every 'conversation' between me and Alice goes. Her asking how I've been, me lying and her telling me my next decision is a stupid one. If I'm honest with myself I'm happy with every reminder that I'm not alone at this point, be it Alice, or –more likely- Pete.

**-No problem brother.**

My point exactly. I've been searchin' for Bella for a long time. At first it was because I felt guilty and later it became somewhat of an obsession. The Major, the fuckin' God of War, not being able to find one slip of a gal, ridiculous. Also Pete telling me he had one of his 'feelings' that she was alive helped. Normally Pete knew more about these things, but he said he didn't this time. I'm not sure if I believe the fucker or that I just don't care.

**-Love you too man**

**-I should get a medal for not having killed you when I had the chance**

**-you know you love me fucker**

**-Shut the fuck up, please**

* * *

><p><em>-Somewhere I do not feel like telling you about yet…-<em>

* * *

><p>'God damn it woman, what are you trying to pull?!'<p>

'Shut up, I'm concentrating here!'

The only answer was a growl.

'And my name is Maggie, use it!'

'Both of you, shut up, _please._'

'Sorry, Iz'

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><p><strong>AN:**

**There you go, please REVIEW and tell me anything you like, also, who do you suppose was the vampire that attacked Bella? **


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